“So now you are bringing the conflict we have at home to school too?!” shouted Jean-Paul to Dieudonné as the two Gihanga boarding school students pushed and shoved one another. As a curious crowd of students gathered around the two, the situation only seemed to escalate. Some began encouraging the altercation, hoping to see some violence. Others were saddened to see their classmates fighting like this. Just as things seemed as if they were about to get out of control, the two turned to a fellow student for help.
Neema was initially reluctant to get involved. She deplored violence, and was scared at the thought of being dragged into the increasingly aggressive dispute. However, unlike the other students who had encircled the boys, Neema was uniquely qualified to act as a neutral mediator; she had learned methods of conflict resolution at one of our trainings. She realized that without her help, the pair would likely resort to fighting and be expelled from school. And so, despite her trepidations, she took the two boys into an empty classroom away from the frenzied crowd in an effort to calm them down as her training had taught her. Next, she needed to identify the cause behind the conflict.
It had begun some days earlier when Jean-Paul lost his notebook. Unable to find it, Jean-Paul was forced to retake all his notes ahead of his final exams. As fate would have it on that day, Jean-Paul noticed his notebook in Dieudonné’s backpack. Dieudonné protested his innocence and claimed someone else must have put the notebook in his bag in an attempt to frame him. As each boy told Neema their side of the story, the other would accuse him of lying and shout insults. There was also more to the story than just a simple stolen notebook: Neema discovered that the boys were from the same village, and that their families had been locked in a legal battle over the ownership of land.
Realizing that the situation was too tense to deal with the boys together, she decided to try and reason with them one at a time. Her training had taught her the importance of presenting the possible negative outcomes of an unresolved conflict. She first turned to Jean-Paul and advised him that even if Dieudonné had taken his notebook, he should still forgive him as fighting would only hurt both of them. Next, she told Dieudonné that even if he had not taken the notebook, he should have told Jean-Paul when he first noticed it in his bag. She also suggested that he try to empathize with Jean-Paul rather than escalating the situation by responding with hostility and threats. Finally, she told both of them that their parents’ problems did not have to be their problems; sooner or later they would need to bury the hatchet or else the conflict between their families would continue needlessly for generations.
After our training, Neema helped solve countless conflicts in her community.
A few days later, Neema approached the boys to see how they were doing. They told her that they had decided to take her advice and thanked her for her help, saying they did not think anyone could have done a better job. With their quarrel behind them, Jean-Paul and Dieudonné quickly realized they had much in common and became good friends, even taking the bus home for the summer together.
As for Neema, she has since gone on to use her mediation skills to resolve an array of different conflicts, including teen pregnancy, intolerance, accusations of sorcery, family disputes, and of course arguments and misunderstandings amongst her peers. “[The Search training] came at the moment we really need it,” she explained. However, there is still more work to be done in Burundi, and Neema and her fellow trainees are working on starting a conflict resolution club at school in order to connect with other students and share their skills.
Britney Nemecek is a Conflict Sensitivity Specialist at Search for Common Ground Burundi, based in Bujumbura.
Christopher Bonnez is an Africa Team Assistant at Search for Common Ground, based in Washington, D.C.